


Betrayal

by orphan_account



Category: Black Mirror
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Boss/Employee Relationship, Episode: s04e01 USS Callister, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, Oral Sex, Rape Recovery, Rimming, Sexual Violence, Verbal Humiliation, Workplace Relationship, Workplace Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-03-22 19:07:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The night before the upgrade patch, Robert Daly decides to confront James Walton in his office about his "mean" behaviour.  James responds with frustration, so Robert tries a different tact- enacting the character of the captain of the USS Callister. When James  then responds with mirth, Robert takes out his aggression on him. James had no idea that the meek, mumbling Robert Daly is, in reality, a psychopathic monster, but quickly learns.James Walton pov, followed by Nate Packer pov.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Disintegration](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13417191) by [Usetheladiesroom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usetheladiesroom/pseuds/Usetheladiesroom). 



> Black Mirror is beyond brilliant. Saw this particular episode and my mind instantly went to 'wrong town', particularly when it came to the disturbing relationship between Robert Daly and James Walton.
> 
> As listed in the warnings, graphic sexual violence in this fic, but there is comfort after, from Nate.

“Tomorrow it is. No, I won’t be late, I promise!” Footsteps behind him twirled James around.

“Six o’clock sharp then,” Felicity’s cool voice continued down the line, as the customarily shabbily dressed Robert appeared in his office doorway.

James had given up on enforcing the dress code with him, as he had given up on enforcing a lot of professional necessities, when it came to his working partner. Despite his outward appearance as a pushover, Robert ultimately did as he pleased, and no squabbling/begging/ordering from James ever changed that fact.

“Tell Tommy I’ll see him then,” James grinned, pressing the red phone icon on his mobile to end the call, as gaiety bubbled in his chest. He had been unsure, upon waking that morning, whether Felicity would allow him to swap days, so he could have Tommy for Christmas Eve. Now that she had agreed, he was looking forward to the expression on Tommy’s face, when he took him to the midnight zoo opening, to observe the nocturnal habits of the aye-aye, his son’s current favourite animal.

“How is Felicity?” Robert asked, in his usual mumbling voice, as he stepped into the room.

James resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Robert had never made any effort to like Felicity while they were married, and he saw no evidence that the timid man liked her any more, now James and her were divorced.

When James had shared a dorm with him a college (even at this early stage, he recognised his roommate to be the genius that he was) Robert had been warm, interesting, funny in a dry, quiet way. However, it didn’t take long for him to pull away, to isolate himself away from James.

Now, he treated James as he did everyone else, with cool aloofness.

“She’s fine,” James said, throwing the mobile down onto his desk, while watching Robert close, and lock, the door behind himself.

_Locked door._

_Robert’s in the mood for a serious conversation._

“Yes, what is it, Robert?”

Robert’s gaze fell to the ground, as he shuffled from foot to foot, in his usual awkward fashion.

“I er… I need to talk to you…”

“Well? What?” James folded his arms.

“You don’t ever…”

James didn’t catch the last mumbled words. His giddiness ebbed away, to be replaced by frustration, which was a common emotion, whenever the CTO was near.

“I didn’t catch that.”

Robert lifted his head, his cheeks dotted pink.

“You need to pay me more respect.”

James raised an eyebrow.

Well, well, this wasn’t what he had been expecting.

“You think I don’t pay you enough respect?”

“You’re not very nice to me,” Robert’s neck bent once more, his ears lined with red.

_What are we in, grade school?_

James unfolded his arms, and took a couple of calming breaths, to stop himself from saying something he would regret.

“If you feel that way, then I am sorry.”

Robert didn’t reply, simply continued to stare down at his feet.

“Look, Robert, you need to just… chill. Go out, maybe. The new girl is nice. Seems to like you.”

“No one pays me any respect here,” Robert looked up again. The red hue of his cheeks now matched his ears.

“Robert… you don’t exactly… Let’s face it. It’s not as though you… help the situation.”

“And what do you mean by that?” Robert’s hands clenched into fists.

“You lock yourself in your room all day and don’t interact with anyone! Except for when you’re staring at them and making them uncomfortable. Yes, I’ve received a few complaints. I’ve eased them over, for your sake. You’re talented, Robert, but you’re also awkward, and frankly, I’m often feeling as though I run this business all by myself!” Now he was on a roll, he couldn’t stop. “In fact, of late your performance has been disgraceful. Pushing back the upgrade to Christmas Eve-“

“Stop talking!” Robert held out his hand before him, palm up, eyes blazing, mouth a thin line.

“Excuse me? What are you doing?”

“Stop. Talking.”

James could only stare a moment, before laughing with incredulity.

“Is that from that… show you’re obsessed by?”

Robert’s hand lowered. James noticed the change in his eyes, the switch from a convolution of emotion, to a cold rigidity, but didn’t connect the change in temperament to any potential lashing out from Robert. Therefore, when the hand lifted and slammed against the side of his cheek, causing stinging pain, James was unprepared. With wide eyes, he placed a hand against his heated face.

_He just… did that._

_Yes, he just hit me._

“Right, you shouldn’t have-“ He reached for the security button behind his desk.

Robert grabbed James’ arm, flung it back and connected his hand to his face, once more, this time with his fingers curled into a fist. James was driven back from the desk, as agony exploded across his cheek. He had no time to recover from the first blow, when Robert pummelled him across his cheek from the other side.

_Make him stop hurting me! Someone help me!_

 He lunged towards the button once more. Robert gripped his arm, and spun him around onto his back on the desk, before slamming a fist into his stomach. All of the oxygen expelled out of him, from the power of the strike, pain rippling through his abdomen.

_He’s going to kill me._

As though reading his thoughts, Robert grabbed him by the shoulders, and pushed him back against the varnished surface, before his hands went around his throat and squeezed. James’s eyes bulged, fingers clawing at the ones throttling him, lungs screaming for oxygen, heart thumping so hard, he was certain it would launch through his ribcage and out of his body.

“Are you going to behave?” Robert’s voice was different; slower, of a deeper tone. “Yes?”

James’s legs flailed, larynx making desperate choking noises.

“You’re not going to hit the security button, are you? No. When I let you go, you’re going to do everything I say. Okay?” Robert said, voice disturbing in its calm tone, while he continued applying pressure to James’ neck.

James nodded and Robert let go. He clutched at the reddened flesh, gasping, as wondrous, blessed, life-giving oxygen filled his lungs.

“Now, do you submit?” Robert continued with the odd, detached voice, that didn’t match his usual awkward nature.

“Please…Robert…” James wiped his bloodied nose, and gingerly felt his face. Tenderness on his left cheek signalled a large contusion.

“Do you submit?” Though the touch to his jaw was light, James flinched away, falling off the desk and onto the plush carpet below.

“Robert…” James rose to his feet. “You’re sick. You’re unwell…”

Robert’s expression darkened.

Wrong words.

With the adrenaline of terror, that issued through his slim frame, James ran to the door, only to be dragged back by his hair, a fist slamming into his ribs, once more.

“Please, no more. Don’t hurt me again,” James pleaded, as he fell down to his knees, clutching at his aching left side.

“You submit?”

James nodded, wiping his nose again.

“As I was saying, you have not been pleasant to me, Walton. Ignoring me, chastising me, stealing my brilliance for your own glory. This is not the Space Fleet way.”

James blinked up at him.

_He’s officially gone crazy!_

“Robert-“

“Engaging in relations with both male and female staff in the office. There is no sex in Space Fleet!”

_Just calm him down. You can work out if something is broken later. Right now, you need to get out of here alive._

“Please, Robert-“ James held his hands out, in what he hoped was a supplicating gesture.

“Why do you continue to test me, Walton?”

“Robert listen to me. Space Fleet isn’t real. I understand you-“

Robert raised his fist. James cringed, placing a hand up, in a motion of defence.

“Wait, please!” James’ heart thumped a wild tattoo in his chest, his lungs working overtime, to deliver the requisite oxygen to his cells. Even so, he was lightheaded.

Robert’s fist dropped and he knelt in front of James.

“You need help, Robert… Bob,” James lowered his voice. Robert’s blue eyes were very dark, in the dim computer light. “I can help you.”

Robert enacted an odd action. He reached out and stroked tender fingers through James’ hair. James’ mind returned to those early college days. He had always considered Robert to be exclusively into women, but for the times, when he would catch Robert staring at him, with the same intensity in which he stared at attractive co-eds.

“We’ll work this out together,” James said. If his instinct was correct, and there was an attraction from Robert’s side, he could use it to his advantage. “Okay?” He plucked Robert’s hand out of his hair and held it in his own.

Robert’s cold eyes flicked down to their held hands and up again.

“So many…I would watch you act the slut. Fucking everything in the office… But not me. No, Robert Daley was never good enough for you. I could build your empire for you. But the idea of intimacy with me. No, you’d rather fuck Owens from accounting first. That braindead jock! In the early days of Space Fleet, I had to literally rape you, to obtain any response whatsoever.”

James’ innards froze.

_What did he just say?_

Robert flung his hand away and stood up. James’ chilled innards now turned to sloshy liquid, as Robert unbuckled his trousers, unzipping his fly.

_No, he can’t be thinking of…_

“You have been using me for your own benefit for too long. It’s time now you returned the favour,” Robert said, releasing his erection from the confines of his trousers. James stared at the angry looking penis, which was impressive in size and veered to the left.

“Robert-“

A warning hand clasped around his neck.

“Any teeth and I will remove yours, tooth by tooth.”

“Robert please….” James’ heart continued in its frantic movements, his pulse pounding in his ears.

 _“_ Show me how you have pleasured others.”

James blinked, water from his eyes spilling down his face, as he considered his options. What did it matter? A blow job was nothing. He’d been in this exact position countless times before.

Only, the concept of touching Robert in that way was enough to make him physically ill.

Worse was the reality of Robert hurting him again.

With shaking hands, he gripped the hard organ, as Robert sighed. Closing his eyes, he leant forward, encasing his mouth over the turgid flesh and moving his head up and down, as fast as possible, in the hopes that Robert would orgasm quickly, and leave, so James could wash out his mouth and ease his sullied being, with alcohol from the mini-bar. As his mouth and hands worked to bring Robert to completion, his fraught mind was determined to escape from the humiliating circumstance, and, hence, went through the speech he had been revising, for the next shareholder’s meeting.

_Profits are down this year, but not by much. The overall market is down, due to factors beyond our control. We do still have the market cornered, are far ahead of the nearest competitor, by a good fifteen percent. But, we still could do better…_

“That’s good, Walton,” Robert crooned, running his fingers through his hair, once more. “I always knew you would be a master of sucking cock.”

_…Yes, in order to increase profits, we can divert money from the design portfolio. That’s as perfect as it’s ever going to-_

The hand in his hair gripped tighter, yanking some of the strands back, shooting pain along his scalp, and bringing him back to the moment, to the degrading act he was being compelled to perform. Robert force his head further down, the erection moving back into his throat. James squirmed, choked, for the second time in five minutes desperate for air, as he struggled to move his head up. Robert grunted and James blinked more tears, as his pungent semen filled his mouth and throat, forcing him to swallow. Groaning, Robert pulled himself out and clasped a hand over his mouth, slamming his jaw shut.

“Swallow my come!” He demanded.

With tears streaming down his face, James obeyed.

“Good, good,” Robert zipped himself up again, as he stroked his hair.

_As one would pat a pet._

“Look at you, all slutty with my come dribbling down your mouth,” Robert sneered.

James wiped at his mouth, as he coughed, his stomach rebelling at the revolting slimy substance he had been forced to swallow, threatening to regurgitate it back up, again.

 “You’ve proven whatever point so please leave,” James whispered.

“What point am I trying to make?”

“I…I…”

“Go on, spit it out. And I don’t mean what you just swallowed.”

_No. Fuck you._

James looked up and glared at him. He may have assaulted him, but he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of humiliating him any further.

“You’re going to pay for this, Robert! I’ll _destroy_ you! I’ll-“

Robert’s laughter cut off any further threats.

“I know for a fact you won’t tell a soul what happened here today, how I forced you to fellate me.”

James flinched, shoulders slumping. Robert was right. He couldn’t even form the words in his own brain, to adequately explain the shame and humiliation, of being forced to become so physically close to the man he so despised.

“Now,” James once again flinched, as Robert grabbed him under the shoulders, lifted him and walked him across the room, before placing him down on the couch under the window and sitting beside him, an arm slung around his shoulders, as though they were lovers. James shuddered, his breath coming in and out in shallow pants, hands still trembling. “I’m going to talk and you are going to listen. As I have explained, I have raped you, before. Bent you over the console and fucked you till you bled, till you cried out for me to stop. I’ve erased your face so you were desperate for air, turned you into a creature, for my own amusement, made you lick my boots, used you as a table, a footstool. Expanded my imagination, with my acts of cruelty towards you. With every torture, you still defied me.”

“Robert… Bob…” James’ trembling voice now matched his hands. “Please, I don’t know what you’re-“

“But taking Tommy, and throwing him out of that airlock-“

James’ entire being froze, as though Robert had thrown ice water over him.

“What have you done to my son?”

“Nothing! Nothing _here_! He’s fine!”

James stood up, only to be dragged back down, by Robert.

“What have you done to Tommy?” He screamed, as Robert pressed him back down onto the couch, loping his legs over to sit on his waist.

“Nothing. It was a game. In the game, that’s all.”

Relief blossomed in James’ system, a welcome flame, to his chilled viscera.

“In… the game?” _He said out of an airlock. He’s a sadistic bastard but he has only hurt Tommy in some ridiculous game, of his._ “Tommy is not hurt? Please, Bob. Any quarrel you have with me. He’s only six,” his voice broke. “Please don’t take it out on my son.”

Robert’s face was partially hidden in shadow. He undid the top button of James’ shirt, and then the next and next, moving all the way down until the shirt was undone, before flinging it open. James’ face heated up, as his bare chest was displayed, to Robert’s lascivious gaze. Though he was usually proud of his trim build, now he wanted nothing more than to cover his flesh.

“What would you do?” Robert asked, pulling the shirt off him and throwing it aside.

James groaned as he grasped his flaccid groin, through his trousers.

“Nothing plastic there,” Robert said, unzipping his fly.

“No, no…” James’ mind whirled, breaking up into fragments of disbelief. “Please, don’t…”

_He wouldn’t… not that._

“He’s only dead in my version of Space Fleet. I wouldn’t hurt him, in reality.”

James caught the underlying threat.

“You bastard! If you touch him I’ll kill you. What is wrong with you?”

Robert placed a hand around his throat, adding pressure, but not enough to cut off his breathing, as he tugged down his trousers and Y-fronts, lifting James’ legs up by the knees, to remove the clothes and fling them onto the ground, before tearing his shoes and socks off.

Sobs erupted from James’ throat.

“Please don’t hurt him.”

If Robert could do this to him, he was capable of anything. Quiet, insecure Robert, who was a secret sociopath. Raping and abusing him in the game. Killing his own son.

“I knew you’d finally submit,” Robert said, patting him on his cheek.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Sir.”

“What?”

“Call me sir.”

“Bob-“

The hand on his throat squeezed. James thrashed, his starved cells demanding oxygen. This time, Robert throttled him for so long, black dots appeared before his eyes. When Robert released, climbing off him, he fell to one side, choking and gasping.

Robert returned, flung him back onto his back and wiggled a tube in front of his face.

“You are a slut, Walton. I discovered this in your upper desk drawer.” With one hand, he grabbed James’ legs and threw them up, over his head, as he knelt before him, on the couch. “Answer me this, with who have you used this, while in this office? Don’t lie to me, or I’ll know.”

James paused, attempting to gather his disparate thoughts, to slow down his hurried breathing.

“Nate.”

“What did I say to you before?”

“Nate, sir,” the heat returned to his cheeks.

“Ah the intern. I suspected as such.” Robert poured lube onto three of his fingers and shoved all three inside James at once. James threw his head back and screamed.

“Slower, it’s too much…” He moaned, through the burning pain.

Robert laughed. “I will take you at the pace I wish to take you, Walton.”

He withdrew the fingers and James closed his eyes. Robert’s warm, soft torso pressed against his and he bit his lip, his stomach revolting at the disgusting sensation, his heart loud in his ears. Too loud. Robert would be able to hear it. The condoms were also in the top drawer, but it was clear Robert wasn’t going to use them.

_As if Robert isn’t a virgin anyway._

Robert entered him in one quick thrust, paying no heed to his comfort. James could not help a moan escape his lips, at the sharp pain that rocked his body.

“Yes, moan for me slut,” Robert whispered, setting a brutal pace, as he pounded him, each thrust a knife slamming into him again and again, rocking electric anguish throughout his entire system. James squirmed beneath him, whimpering with each movement, tears a constant down his cheeks. The exquisite pain was secondary to the deep shame; that he had allowed Robert to enact this travesty on him, a tarnish that went beyond his physical body, to his very being, to everything that made him human. Robert was taking his essence, with each violent, dry thrust.

With no escape physically, James escaped in his mind.

“Take it. You want it, slut. Yeah, he loves it. Yeah,” Robert’s voice, no doubt recounting lines from a favourite porn parody of his beloved show, was a distance away. James was in the comfort of his house, pouring himself a whiskey from the bar fridge, relishing in its cool, bitter taste. Music poured from his house speakers, a jazzy tune. If there was a visitor, he would brag about the antique walnut bar top.

Robert had stopped talking and now grunted, their bodies slapping together.

Slap. Slap. Slapslapslapslapslap.

Combined with the acute agony of penetration, his leg muscles ached from being locked in an uncomfortable position. He had to give Robert credit, he thought, with dark humour, he didn’t consider he would have lasted this long.

 “Slut…” Jagged teeth against the flesh of his neck. Not content with violating him, Robert wanted to make obvious their forced intimacy, by bruising his neck with love bites.

A spider’s web strung across the ceiling, from one corner, to the other. James was aware it would be difficult for cleaners to reach that high, but that was ridiculous. He would have to talk to them, in a kind fashion, and tell them to-

Robert groaned, his thrusts erratic. James cried out again, in repulsion and shame, as warmth flooded his ruined insides. His attacker fell down onto him, panting into his ear. Liquid gushed down his inner thighs.

“Good, Walton,” Robert pulled up. James flinched again, as his attacker removed himself from his leaking orifice. “Very good.” He patted his head and stood up. “Oh my. You’re bleeding.”

James looked down. As he suspected, the warmth on his thighs was blood, intermixed with the creamy texture of Robert’s semen.

_I’m going to be sick._

Robert wiped his now flaccid penis on James’ stomach, before stuffing it back into his underwear, pulling his trousers up and buckling them. James dropped his legs, his mind still too decimated, body too weak, to even move to redress himself.

“I want you to do something for me,” Robert said. “Thank me. I have been benevolent to you, today.”

James closed his eyes, tears leaking out of the sockets. Benevolent?

“Look me in the eyes and say, ‘Thank you sir, for your benevolence today’.”

_Say it. Anything to get him to leave._

James’ lips shook, as he compelled himself to look at his attacker.

“Th… Th…”

“Go on,” Robert said, encouraging.

James’ face burnt. “Th-thank you s-sir for your benevolence today.”

“Good.” Robert patted his cheek.

James curled into a small ball, expecting Robert to inflict more torture upon him. When Robert left the room, locking the door behind himself, he couldn’t believe he was truly gone. James waited twenty minutes, before grabbing his underwear and trousers, pulling them up and doing his fly, locating his shirt off the floor and putting it back on and creeping towards the door. The time on the digital scanner next to the doorframe flashed nine pm, which meant Robert had been with him for an hour. Each movement was torture. He suspected Robert had damaged him… in there.

Dry-retching, he stumbled back to the desk and picked up his mobile, locating Felicity’s number. His fingers shook with such ferocity, it took three tries for the text to go through.

_Can’t take Tommy any more tomorrow. Sorry._

He switched off his mobile, before the inevitable onslaught from her, and gingerly made his way out of the office, his mind focused on his house's warm shower.

“Oh, sorry, James, I-“

Terror bolted through his system and James screamed.

“Oh my god!” Nate stood by his console, a folder in his hands. He dropped it onto the desk and wandered over. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing! I-“

“You’ve been beaten! Who did this? Was it…It was that asshole Daly, wasn’t it? I just saw him leave the office.”

James blinked. Great, he was crying again. This was becoming embarrassing.

“I’m fine.”

“James, have you seen your face? You’re bruised and bloody. You need to go to the hospital.”

“No hospital.”

Nate sighed, ran a hand over his shaved scalp. “I always knew he was a fucking asshole. James, your shirt it’s… it's inside out.”

James looked down at himself. So, it was true, in his daze, he’d put his shirt on inside out, and still managed to do up three of the buttons, mis-matched with the others. In his daze, he had also failed to put his shoes and socks back on.

“James…” Nate’s voice lowered. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t want to, okay? You’re in control here.”

James recalled Nate’s last job, before this one. He had told him, in the interview, that he had counselled prison inmates.

_He knows._

James curled in on himself, gripping his aching abdomen. What he wanted to do was to go home, to forget about what had happened. But then he recalled what Robert had said about Tommy, and anger coursed through himself, galvanizing him to action. He forced his spine to elongate.

“I need to go to the hospital. He beat me and I… I need to get a… I need to get a…” _Say_ _it. It’s only words._ “Rape kit done.”

Nate expressed no surprise at these words, instead, his brown eyes filled with warmth. They’d had sex three times, before James had moved on, to the hot new intern. Nate had still shown him the same level of respect, in the office, did not seem upset by the change of events. Now, James considered he had perhaps moved on too soon.

No matter, he wasn’t going to have sex for a long time, now.

Robert Daly had made sure of that.

*

Though they had attempted to make the rape kit as comfortable as possible, it was still humiliating, as they photographed his injuries, combed his pubic hair and took invasive swabs from his mouth and anus, as he flinched and grimaced from the sharp pain. Robert had left a fair amount of evidence on his person; semen and saliva, as well as the injuries from his beating.

When the police officer had taken his statement, she had stated this was one of those ‘simple’ rape cases that would be easy to prosecute, considering the state of his injuries. This news didn’t endear her to James.

She was finishing up, when her beeper went off. Leaving the hospital room, he dully watched her take out her mobile and talk, a long moment, before returning.

“I have important news. They located Robert Daly in his apartment. He was in a comatose state, attached to a game.”

“Game?” James asked, his upper organs sinking into the lower ones. “Let me guess, Space Fleet.”

Of course, he was. His version, where he got to play out his torture fantasies, before bringing them into the real world.

“From what we gather, he’d created his own version of the game, in his apartment and was playing it. He was taken to a different hospital, in a comatose state. Doctors say they were able to bring him back. In fact, they’re saying if the police didn’t come to the apartment, when they did, he would have fallen deeper into the coma, perhaps even died.”

“So, I, in effect, saved his life?” Though no humour simmered inside him, laughter issued through his lips.

He continued shrieking guffaws, as she backed out of the room.

*

“Do you want to come in?” James said, as Nate pulled the car up in front of his house. “No sex, just companionship.”

“James, you’ve just been raped. I wouldn’t even think of…If you want me to come in, fine.”

“My mind is…” He made a swirling motion around his head.

“Understandable.”

*

Nate shook his head at the offered drink, so James poured himself one and took a swig.

“I’m sorry I… I’m sorry for everything,” James said. “You should be more than an intern.”

Nate took out the prescription tablets from the hospital out of his pockets and laid them down on the bar bench.

“I shouldn’t be drinking.”

“Probably not. But you’ve just come back from the hospital, after being viciously raped by a guy who copied you and your son into his own game to torture you. I say, it’s fine to do whatever you fucking want to,” Nate said.

 “This is fucked. This whole thing is fucked!” James said, pouring himself another glass.

“It is. But you’re going to get that fucking rapist prick.”

James took a swig of the vodka and slammed it back down onto the table. “Yes, I fucking am.”

*

In the end, his lawyer decided not to put him on the stand. As she explained, in a rape trial, it was considered outdated, as it left him open for cross-examination from the defence and, with that, character assassination. Robert had also opted out of going on the stand, which James considered a shame.

It would be too easy to perform character assassination on Robert.

Particularly considering the evidence collected, which proved the sick fuck had been collecting DNA of colleagues, to place them in his demented home game.

The odds were good for a guilty verdict.

This didn’t decrease his anxiety, but increased it. He continued to go to work, where his initial distrust in his underlings proved to be unfounded. If anything, they were overly protective of him, particularly when the media staked out the front of the building, to take photos.  Shania was especially abrasive towards them, informing them where they could shove their cameras and microphones.

He wasn’t needed in court all the time, and didn’t relish coming in, being in the same room as his attacker. Robert never looked in his direction, instead kept with his faux nerd schtick, looking down at his feet, with bright eyes.

James no longer believed it. Robert hadn’t been teary when he had forced him to thank him, after viciously sticking his erection inside him, with such ferocity he bled.

The worst was when he explained to Tommy why daddy was on the news. He had sat Tommy down and said

“A bad man did a mean thing to daddy. So, daddy has taken him to court. Do you know what court is?”

Tommy had nodded, blue eyes so wide in his face.

“At school, some of the other boys are saying he fucked you. What does that mean, daddy?”

“That’s a bad word, Tommy,” James had said, blinking tears back from his eyelids. “Don’t say it. The bad man did a terrible thing to daddy. Hurt him badly. But daddy is going to make sure the bad man will be put away for a long time.” He paused. “Tommy, I want you to tell me… Your body is your own, okay? No one is allowed to touch it without your permission. Not even me. Not even mommy. If anyone does, you tell me, alright? You tell daddy.”

Tommy’s eyes were so wide and innocent.

“Okay, daddy. Is that what the bad man did do you?”

James hesitated, and nodded.

“I’m sorry, daddy. I’m sorry he did that.” Tommy placed his tiny arms around James’ neck and all was well, for a while.

*

“Guilty.”

The courtroom erupted into applause. James’ lawyer patted him on the back, while he sat, stunned. He looked across to Robert, both catching eyes. Robert’s expression was opaque, before Robert turned away.

“We did it,” Nate whispered into his ear. “It’s over.”

*

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go in with you?” Nate asked, turning off the car ignition.

“I need to do this alone,” James smiled.

“Alright. You message me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up,”

“Ok.”

A smile played at the edges of Nate’s mouth.

“Come here,” he leant forward and pressed his lips against James’, both tangling tongues together.

After ten months together, the other week, he’d been able to allow Nate into his body without flinching, or instantly using their safe word. The sex, from his side, hadn’t been magical. He had been awkward and stiff, unable to properly let go and enjoy himself. But he had orgasmed, so he supposed that was something. Perhaps he’d always, from now on, be fearful of being trigged, during penetrative sex. But he was in a healthy, loving relationship. For the first time in years, he’d settled down, with one of the most desirable men, in his opinion, on the planet.

Ironically, from starting hot and heavy in his office after work, after his sexual assault, they had moved glacially. For the first month, Nate didn’t touch him. Most nights, they would sit and chat, often with a wine in hand, whiling away the time until the early hours of the morning. James began to know Nate in a way he had never bothered to, while they had their initial fling.

Aspects of Nate.

He was witty enough to make James laugh out loud.

He had an intense fear of spiders. Once, when one was crawling along the floor in front of him, he jumped up and ran out of the room, not coming back until James had taken the spider outside.

He adored Tommy and Tommy, in turn, adored him.

James considered himself a smart person, and Nate was able to keep up with him, talking all manner of politics and social injustices.

One night, James reached over and grabbed his hand. Nate gave a little smile and then continued talking about the government’s response to climate change.

Another night, James leant forward and kissed him on the lips. Nate pulled back.

_Here we go._

“James, I want there to be no misunderstanding between us. I’ve fallen for you. I fell for you from the first moment I saw you in the interview, all sunny smile and bright blue eyes.”

Nate had the ability to make him _giggle_ , which he did then.

“But I’m not a possessive man. When you no longer wished to be with me, I understood and was grateful for the time we had. Whatever you want to do, is your decision.”

“Well, good, because I want to be with you.”

The kiss deepened.

They didn’t make love, not that night. James still wasn’t up for that kind of intimacy. But they officially became a couple, and had been together ever since.

Nate pulled back, trailing a hand down James’ cheek. “I’m proud of you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” James said.

*

Robert had put on weight, in the two years since he’d last seen him. Always pudgy about the waist, he now had edged over into obese. James estimated he weighed at least two hundred kilograms.

He sat down the table opposite, thankful for the cuffs tying Robert to the table, as well as the guard, outside the door.

“No Space Fleet in here, huh?” James asked.

Robert continued to stare at him.

“Why did you do it? Why did you do all of it?”

“I was brilliant. And none of you saw it. But now, others do. You think this is a punishment, me being in here? I’m helping others achieve their dreams of escape, of getting back at those who have hurt them. Escape into here,” he pointed to his own head. “Here, I’m treated like the god that I am.”

James shook his head. “You really are crazy.”

“You’re looking good, Walton. Better than ever.”

“Well, you look like shit.”

Robert’s freckled face broke out into a wide smile.

“In my mind, I get to have you, again and again. I get to break you, to make you crawl and beg, to fuck you and make you want it.”

“I saved your life,” James whispered. “The police came to your apartment because of me.”

“Which is why I plan to leave you alone, when my time in here is up.”

“You were brilliant, Bob. And I used you, like the golden goose grew fat off your talent. And I’m sorry for that.”

Tears pooled in Robert’s eyes. “I believe you.”

“But then you raped me, you sick fuck. So, fuck you!”

“That’s fair,” Robert said.

“You deserve to be in here,” James said, standing up. “I’ll be there, at every probation hearing, to make sure you stay.”

“I don’t want to be out there,” Robert said. “I never belonged out there.”

“Yes, because here, you’re treated like a god,” James rolled his eyes, went to move away.

“James?”

James turned back. Robert’s face had collapsed in a genuine display of misery.

“I wanted you to notice me. To look at me with the awe you would show me when we first met.”

“I wanted to be friends with you, Robert. It was _you_ who failed _me_. Not the other way around.”

“I’m sorry,” Robert said, face etched in sorrow.

“Goodbye, Robert. I won’t be coming back.”

James stepped out of the room without looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wouldn't leave my brain until I wrote out the whole James/Nate romance from Nate's pov. So, here it is. It's already written but needs a stack of editing. Will go for three more chapters. Enjoy!

Nate despised job interviews, particularly for such a lowly position as an internship. They typically consisted of a series of ridiculous questions, followed by even more ridiculous answers, at the end of which neither the employer, nor potential employee, were any closer to discovering whether they were going to be an effective fit, once they commenced the actual job.

He realised he had to go through the rigmarole, however, so clenched his teeth and completed his online research of Callister Incorporated. Of course, he longed to work there Everyone did, it seemed, spurred on by online rumours of a remarkable workplace culture. The staff only worked twenty-hour a week shifts but were payed for forty, according to the rumours. There were slides from floor to floor, a high-quality restaurant on site, and stock options for each new employee, including interns.

Nate soon appreciated, upon arriving at the workplace, how far truth was from reality. Although as sparse and elegantly furnished as any other high-tech workplace, the only way to go from floor to floor was through an elevator. He would soon learn that staff did, indeed, work a forty-hour week, although the pay was generous, and did include stock options, even for interns. The food on site was merely adequate.

The directors turned out to be another surprise. The night before the interview, Nate had perused the men’s stock photos on their respective webpages. Robert Daly, who exuded confidence and handsomeness on the webpage detailing his role as Chief Technical Officer, in reality, looked very different. Perhaps it was the stoop of his shoulders or the shuffling of his feet, or the fact that he spent the entire interview hovering in the background, not saying a word, as his partner asked all the questions, the man rose the hairs on the back of Nate’s neck. There was something not right about him. At one point, toward the end of the interview, Robert looked Nate square in the face. Though his eyes were blue, they appeared darker, and flat, as though Nate was peering into a mirror, reflecting his own self back, and giving nothing of the man’s interior. The effect increased his consternation even further.

James Walton, in turn, was the opposite. The photo on the webpage detailing his role as Chief Executive Officer did naught to reveal the true aesthetics of his appearance. Perhaps it was his sunny smile, lacking in the photo, as he reached his hand out to shake Nate’s, or the fact the photo failed to display the good humour and intrigue in his bright blue eyes. Nate allowed the chatty, hand waving James to walk him to the interview room, distracted by his blond good looks.

Robert hovered in the background as James sat down, gesturing to the chair in front of the wide table, the surface of which was empty, but for Nate’s resume.

“So, tell us why you want to work for our little company?”

Nate recounted his memorised answer. James smiled and asked about his background. In response, he talked about his last job as a prison counsellor (valuable, for his knowledge of the psychology of others. So far, he was charming James and- he had to be honest with himself- vice-versa. Robert, however, he had no insight into. The Chief Technical Officer continued to stare at him, with a blank face.)

The interview continued in the usual fashion, as he gave his stock answers to James’ stock questions.

“Is there anything you would like to say to us?”

Nate gave his memorised spiel about wanting to work for the premium business operating in the United States, how game programming was his favourite hobby and he could be a great asset to the company.

James stood up and reached out his hand again, with his bright, vivacious smile, that pleasantly bubbled the acid in Nate’s stomach.

“You should change your profile photo on the website,” Nate said, as they shook. James’ blue eyes widened and Nate cursed himself for saying such an inappropriate sentence.

“I’ve been wanting to change it for years. Not very flattering, is it?” James laughed. “Robert, yours looks great,” he gestured to the scowling man beside him.

“It barely looks like you,” Nate fumbled. “You’re far better looking in person.”

“Thank you for indulging in my vanity,” James said, plump lips still upraised. Behind him, Robert’s lips sank deeper. “We’ll give him the job, just for that. What do you think, Robert?”

“Thank you for your time,” Robert said, the fathomless pits of his irises boring into Nate. Understanding he was being excused, Nate again thanked them for considering him and departed the room.

*

Three hours later, the bored sounding receptionist informed Nate he was being offered a position at Callister Incorporated.

*

The first day at work, James took him around the vast workspace, introducing him to the ones he’d be working with and explaining his role.

“You’ll be fine,” James said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, after settling him down at his desk. “Any problems, come see me in my office, alright?”

“Sure thing, Mr. Walton.”

“James. Please,” again with the smile that lit up his face, transforming the fey features to beyond handsome. He patted Nate again on the back and stepped away. Nate stared at the blank screen of his work computer, asking himself what he should be doing now. James’ easy charm had thrown him.

“You look dazed. Walton can do that to you,” said the woman at the computer opposite him. Shania, Nate recalled.

“He seems nice,” Nate admitted.

Shania considered him a moment, head tilting, as though working out a complex puzzle. He shifted under her scrutiny.

“Yeah, he’s a good boss. Be advised, he’s not sleazy. But… you’ve noticed he can be quite charming.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s fucked his way through half of the staff. Doesn’t care whether they’re male or female. Hell, I bet he’d fuck anything that was willing, with a pulse.”

“Really?” Nate turned and glanced at the glassed-in office to his far left, where James strummed an acoustic guitar.

*

The next day, Nate was typing a simple, yet effective code that Kabir had taught him, when James came by and sat on the edge of his desk.

“How are you settling in?”

“Really good. Everyone is nice here,” Nate spun around in his office chair to face him.

“That’s a trendy shirt. Where did you get it?”

“Ah can’t remember,” Nate wasn’t going to add he’d spent fifteen minutes that morning going through his wardrobe to find the right work outfit.

“You must go to the gym. I can see those rippling muscles that shirt so prominently displays,” James grinned.

Without effort, Nate’s own smile widened, at James’ compliment.

“I go to the gym three times a week. My muscles don’t want to build, unfortunately. Still, nice way to keep trim,” James said.

“I happen to think that white shirt shows off your physique well,” Nate resisted the urge to trail his hand along James’ chest, in a faux examination of the material. That would be pushing the flirtation too far.

James paused. “I changed the photo online, at your suggestion. The new one, I’m told is a lot better.” He leant forward and plucked a stray fur strand off the front of Nate’s shirt. A delicious chill blossomed in Nate’s body from the contact. “Clearly, this isn’t yours.”

“Probably my puppy, Chip,” Nate said. “Fur gets all over me. I’m so sorry, I should have used the lint brush this morning.”

James laughed. “Don’t worry at all. Even dog hair doesn’t take away from your bulging muscles.”

He patted his shoulder and left.

“That man isn’t half obvious, is he?” Shania returned to her desk, with a coffee in hand. “Unbelievable.”  
*

The next day, James again approached Nate’s desk. As he typed, James looked over his shoulder, his hand on his shoulder. The light astringent scent of his aftershave, combined with the floral smell of his shampoo and conditioner, as he leaned forward, filled Nate’s nostrils.  James again commented on his physique, asking about his diet. With anyone else, the questions could be seen as bordering on sexual harassment. However, James was charming enough to get away with them.

“He does it to most of the new employees,” Shania said, after James returned to his office. “He’s keeping it going because you’re responding so well.”

“Did he try it with you?” Nate bit his bottom lip.

“Of course he did! I didn’t flirt back so he backed off. Was still nice to me, after, though. Again, he’s not a predator, in that way. But he does like to fuck around.”

“Hm…”

Nate returned to his work, telling himself he was spending far too much time contemplating his new boss.

*

 “Want a coffee?” Nate asked, twenty minutes later.

“I’m alright, for now,” Shania said.

Nate stretched and stepped over to the coffee machine to the back, pouring himself a cup and telling himself not to wander his attention to the glassed-in office in front, when a voice sounded behind him.

“Could you er… could you pour me one?”

“Ah…” He spun around, to Robert standing in awkward, shuffling fashion, less than a metre behind him. “Ah sure…”

“Vanilla latte. Skim milk…”

“Yeah probably a good idea…” Nate trailed off.

_Why did I just say that? That was rude._

“I’ll ah, I’ll be in my office,” Robert said and slunk away.

Nate shook his head and placed the cup in the holder.

“Ah coffee… I personally can’t get through the day without at least three in the morning,” James again loped towards him, his movements displaying more grace than the Chief Technical Officer’s.  “Two, really? Are you getting them for the entire office?”

“Oh no, Mr. Daley asked me to…”

“Robert?” James frowned. “If he wants to have a coffee, he can make his own. He sits in that office by himself all day. Might actually give him an excuse to talk to others.”

*

Nate was standing at the sink, washing his hands, when Robert came into the bathroom. For a moment both stilled, in silent regard of each other. Nate was on the edge of apologising for not giving him the coffee but decided against it. He gave an awkward nod, turned off the tap, wiped his hands with a paper towel that then went into the bin, and walked towards the door.

“I don’t like to use the stall someone has used. It’s a… thing of mine…” Robert said. “What urinal did you just use?”

“Ah the one on the left,” Nate shook his head.

Robert was, indeed, a weird one.

“Thanks.”

*

On Friday afternoon, Shania asked Nate if he wanted to join them for after work drinks. Nate glanced in James’ office, where he sat behind his desk, typing onto his interface.

“I see,” Shania laughed.

Robert stepped out of his own dingier office, down from James’, wrapping a scarf around his neck and staring at them, before turning away.

“Guy gives me the creeps,” Shania said.

“Me too,” Nate frowned, following Robert’s bow-headed walk to the elevator.

“So starey,” Shania said. “Just stares all the time. One time, a few weeks back, I decided I had enough. I went and confronted him. Told him not to be so starey.”

“How did he respond?” Nate asked, his curiosity piqued.

“He didn’t do anything! Just kept on staring!”

Both caught eyes and laughed.

“James Walton came in and asked what was going on. He said he’d have a talk to him. It worked… sort of. He stopped staring at me. Kept staring at other people in the office, though.”

“Yeah, the guy is weird, alright.”

Both were silent a moment.

“Alright, have fun with…. Whatever you plan to do tonight!” Shania whacked him jovially on the shoulder.

Nate watched her and the rest of the staff leave the work floor, took a deep breath to calm his racing heart and came over to James’ office, where he’d darkened the glass, to disallow anyone now seeing in.

After a week of flirting and his own manual masturbation at home, he’d given in. If Shania was right, and James fucked everyone in the office, then Nate would allow himself to be the boss’s new concubine.

He knocked on the open door. Inside the room, James switched off the console and sat on the edge of the desk, swinging his legs.

“Not going out with the others, I see?” James asked.

Nate shook his head, as he closed and locked the door.

“So, what is it that you want?”

“You,” Nate said, moving to stand before him.

“I see,” James grabbed the front of Nate’s shirt, pulling his mouth into an electrified, hungry kiss, that jolted through his body, running down his torso, legs and arms, to the tip of the fingers that were plunged into James’ dark blond hair. Nate moaned, grateful to have taken the leap, his potential firing be damned.

_Oh yes…_

James released him and jumped down from the desk, unzipping his trousers and boxers and pulling them down, as he knelt before him. Nate filed away the image of his boss kneeling before him in his mind, for future masturbatory material.

_That’s it, gorgeous. Damn, you’re fucking cute._

“Impressive,” James said and engulfed Nate’s erection in his hot, sweet mouth.

 Nate gasped. Never in his twenty-eight years of life had he ever received a blow job so easily, by either a man or a woman. James was talented, using his tongue and lips to cause strangled groans from Nate’s lips, as zaps of unfathomable bliss enveloped his body. As the pleasure of being enveloped by the warm cave of his boss’s frantic mouth reached higher into the echelons of ecstasy, James pulled away and jumped back onto his own desk, pulling open the drawer and taking out a bunch of condoms and lube, before pulling his own trousers and boxers down to his ankles and kicking them to the floor.

“Fuck me. Hard. On the desk.”

Nate moaned, the words caressing his already overstimulated erection. He nestled himself between James’s outstretched legs and cradled his jaw in one hand, as he scooped lube into his fingers with the other.

“You’re so fucking cute,” Nate said, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal a fuzzy, slender, yet defined chest.

“Am I?” James appeared bemused.

“Is this alright?” He gingerly entered his finger inside him. James squirmed, frowned and gasped, as Nate hit the sweet spot inside him.

“Better,” James said, grabbing Nate’s hand and placing it onto his erection. Nate bent forward to kiss him, tempering James’s frantic tongue with his more tender one, as the finger was joined by one, then two, then three others, taking his time to stretch him, as he continued to press up against the nub that created delightful squirming and moans from his partner’s pretty lips, as he concurrently stroked him from the front.

“Fuck me, fuck me or it’s going to be too late!”

Nate moved his hand away from his erection and trailed it along the side of his jaw.

“Such a lovely face.”

“What? Come on, Nate, fuck me!” James hooked his legs around him.

_If you insist._

Nate withdrew his fingers, tore open a condom and rolled it on, poured more lube on his aching erection, and did as his boss bid, pounding him harder as per his instructions, but mindful to be not too hard as to hurt him, while giving in to his own desire to stroke and kiss him every place he could reach, relishing in the combined stubble and soft flesh of his face and neck, with the slender muscles underlying the flesh of his shoulders and chest, until both were crying out in ecstasy.

“Wow!” James said, rebuttoning his shirt, as Nate pulled his trousers and boxers up and rebuckled them, before throwing the used condom into the bin by the desk. “That was hot. Better go home and change. I just came all over myself.”

Nate grinned, cupped his chin and dueled tongues together, before moving back to gaze at him.

“Yes, lovely.”

“What are you going on about?” James jumped off the desk, reaching for his boxers and trousers. “Yep, time to go home.”

“So, this weekend, what are you-?”

“Oh, I’m not…” James’ cheeks flushed red. “It’s my weekend with my son. Looking forward to seeing him. Thought I’d take him to the zoo.”

“What’s his name?” Nate asked.

“Tommy. He’s great. Just a great kid,” a new beatific expression came over the delicate features. Overwhelmed, Nate kissed his lips once more. “We’d better go.”

*

“Fuck yes! Fuck me!” With sweat running in rivulets down his forehead, Nate stopped moving, lifted James up from the desk, and indulging in his sweet mouth, walked him over to the wall and fucking him up against it. James cried out now with every thrust, mouth wide open, as Nate sucked on his sweaty long neck, focusing on the stubbled salty flesh around his lips and tongue, the soft hair in his hands, and away from tight pull of James’ body. Wanting to last this time, for as long as he could.

He walked James over to the couch nearby and lay him down.

“Fuck yes…” James cried out, thrusting up and down in time with Nate.

Nate built up to orgasm and allowed himself to go over, grunting through his ecstasy, before coming down, pulling out and kissing down James’ furry chest, to take his leaking erection into his mouth.

“I’m about to… I’m about to…”

Nate pulled away and jerked him, twice, come spraying all over his stomach, as James flung his head back and cried out.

_Well, that’s another masturbation image to file away._

“Well, you don’t disappoint,” James said, sitting up. Nate walked over to the desk, threw the condom into the bin and picked up their clothes, handing James over his shirt, trousers and boxers. “That was some pounding you gave me.”

“Am more than happy to oblige,” Nate wasn’t going to add that after a weekend of constant thoughts of his blond boss, he’d come into work on Monday desperate for a replay of Friday. Shania had noticed his wide smile when James passed his desk.

“Oh no… Be careful, Nate. You know it’s not going to last…”

“I know,” Nate said. “I’m getting what I can while I can.”

“That is one beautiful body you have there,” James said, still reclining on the coach, not bothering to change, as Nate pulled his boxers and trousers back on.

“You were talking about that café near your house…”

James’ full lips downturned and his eyelids flicked down.

“Ah…sure…” He looked up and grinned. “How about tomorrow night you come to mine? I’ll give you the address?”

*

“Are you whistling?” Shania asked, coming up beside Nate at the coffee machine.

“He is, he’s whistling!” Valdack whacked Nate on the back, laughing. “Who whistles anymore?”

“I do,” Nate grinned.

The door to Robert Daly’s office opened and he stepped out, staring at Shania and Nate in turn.

“Looking at something?” Shania asked.

Robert looked into James’ office before glaring back at them and moving to Kabir‘s desk, bending down to chat to him.

“Such a strange guy,” Nate whispered.

*

“Well, fuck… great as always…” James said, still trembling on his hands and knees, as Nate, continuing to nuzzle his left cheek, slid himself out of him and tore the condom off.

As he suspected would happen, they never made it to the café. As soon as he had entered James’ house, James had pounced on him. They started on the kitchen table, before Nate insisted they end in the bedroom. Once on the bed, Nate had stroked James’ face, trailing gentle fingers along his cheeks, across his pouting lips. James had then frowned, rolled over onto his hands and knees and insisted on being fucked. Nate had then followed through, kissing down his back and plundering his hole using his lips, tongue and fingers, until James was desperate for more. In a rush of passion, Nate then mounted him, kissing his lips, chin, neck and stroking his torso as he moved, until both cried out their release.

James fell down to the side, away from him.

“Alright, think I’ll sleep now. Sorry, the code to the alarm is underneath. Please press it in before you leave.”

Nate placed the condom in the bin by the bed and rolled back towards him, checking the clock. The time was only eight-thirty at night.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I don’t mind. If you want to stay, that’s fine.” James’ hair was stuck up at odd angles. The dishevelled look contributed to his sultry appearance, particularly as he was still sweaty and flushed following the extended sex session.

Nate curled up behind him, pulling the blanket up over themselves and kissing his shoulder, running his hands through his hair.

“You want to go for round two already?”

“I enjoy touching you,” Nate said, placing his arm around his waist.

James sighed.

*

“You need to wake up. We can’t be seen coming into work together.”

Nate opened his eyelids, to two blue staring back at him.

“Can we shower together, first?”

“I guess, if you want.”

*

Fully dressed, and content from the second orgasm of the night in the shower, Nate stood with James by the front door.

“We never did make it to that café…”

“Nate…” James pouted. “I don’t want you to be under any misapprehension. I’m not up for… I’m not looking for anything long term at the moment. I’m looking for fun. Just fun. I hope that doesn’t offend you.”

Although this was not unexpected, Nate’s heart dove into his stomach. So, Shania was right.

“Of course not! I like fun. I’m into fun!”

*

That day, Nate caught James paying close attention to a darkhaired man he had never seen before. Shania told him he was one of the firm’s lawyers, brought in for the day, to work on the company’s contract with one of their main distributors.

Nate had a good idea as to the message James was sending him. Ignoring the tight coil of his intestines, he told himself James was free to be with whoever he pleased. He did not own the man or his relationships.

Two days later, he was packing up his belongings to leave, when the darkhaired man left James’ now darkened office, with the same dazed excitement that would have surely echoed Nate’s, after they’d been intimate.

*

A week later, another girl came onto the work floor. Nanette. She was cute, smart. James latched onto her straight away, as Nate suspected he would. Only, not with the conviction he had himself or the lawyer. He seemed distracted, of late.

“He’s upset with Daly,” Shania said. “Upset he pushed back the roll out for the new app.”

Robert’s office door slammed shut and James stepped out, with an uncharacteristic frown marring his usual genial visage.

*

Nate was at his car, when he realised he’d left his USB at work and, furthermore, had forgotten to empty it, so it could be ready for configuring the next day. Cursing himself, he rushed back into the office. It was dark inside. Everyone had left, but for a light issuing out of James’ closed office door. The window glass was darkened, which only tended to happen when he was intimate with another. Not wishing to find out who, Nate switched on his console and flicked into his work, wishing to download his USB as quickly as possible.

Robert stepped out of James’ office, a twisted smile on his usually placid visage. Upon seeing him, Nate froze.

_No… James wouldn’t… No._

Robert saw Nate and continued forward, appearing different, his stance erect, confidence elevating his face to a strong handsomeness.

“When I ask you for a coffee, Packer. You give it to me, right away!” His voice sounded different, more upper-class English.

“Excuse me?”

“Also, you will no longer fuck that slut.”

A chill permeated Nate’s lower organs, spiralling up through his body, as Robert continued talking.

“He won’t fuck any one else, now. I’ve made sure of it.”

“What have you done, Robert?” Nate whispered.

The vulpine smile on Robert’s face didn’t reach his eyes. “You have a good night, now.”

Nate watched him leave, before turning back to his console, his thoughts whirling. Something was wrong, only his brain couldn’t place the pieces together, to form a cohesive whole.

_Robert wouldn’t hurt James… would he? No… Even if he wanted to, it wouldn’t be in his best interest to hurt the CEO of his own company._

Nate deleted the information off the USB and stuck it in his pocket, spinning in his chair, to James’ office, where the windows were still darkened, blinds still closed.

_Should I go knock on the door?_

Frowning, Nate tapped his fingers against his legs, mind too scrambled to work out a plan. He wasn’t sure how long he sat, trying to force an action, when he stood and grabbed his papers and USB, determined to knock on James’ door.

The door to James’ office opened once more.

“Oh, sorry, James, I-“ Nate began.

James stepped out into the main work floor, and, upon gazing at the man before him, Nate’s vocal cords momentarily disallowed any more words.

His boss’s bloodied, bruised face, while concerning, was not the aspect of his shaking, stumbling form, that constricted Nate’s innards together with cold fear. James wasn’t wearing any shoes and socks and, furthermore, his shirt was on inside out, three buttons hastily done up. As he continued shambling forward, he grimaced, as though in pain.

“Oh my god!” Nate dropped the folder onto the desk. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing! I-“

_No, that’s not nothing._

“You’ve been beaten! Who did this? Was it…It was that asshole Daly, wasn’t it? I just saw him leave the office.”

Nate was now close enough to notice the tears that ran down James’ cheeks. Placing together the evidence of his disarranged clothes, trembling frame and vacant-eyed stare, along with his own experience as a prison counsellor, Nate had a fair idea as to Robert’s crime. However, James refused to say, refused to even want to go to the hospital. Although Nate was concerned for his well-being, he knew not to push him.

“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to, okay? You’re in control here.”

James’ face crumpled and he curled in on himself, a keening sound issuing from his lips. Nate curled his fingers, to cease from reaching out and grabbing him, hugging him, consoling him. No, he wouldn’t accept that. Not now. In fact, to touch him now would delay the start of any potential healing from the trauma wrought upon him, that night.

_Oh no, James. I’m so sorry this has happened to you._

James relented. Yes, he would go to the hospital. He then said why, confirming Nate’s horrific initial assessment.

Rape kit.

Although Nate’s mind was screaming, he kept a calm composure. Whatever James wanted. Whatever would get him through.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as he arrived home, James strolled straight over to the bar, took out a bottle of whisky, poured himself a glass and downed it in one gulp. Nate couldn’t blame him. Despite his background counselling prison inmates, some of whom had suffered the same fate as the man before him, Nate would not be so arrogant as to believe he comprehended what James was going through, particularly after spending the night and most of the day of Christmas Eve in the hospital, reliving the trauma of his rape through a rape kit at the hospital, followed by talking with the detectives, when they arrived.

Pushing through his sorrow and fear for James, was also a sense of pride. He had not allowed Robert to break him, to shame him into not taking action.

“This thing is fucked! This whole thing is fucked” James poured himself another, larger whisky and took a swig.

“It is. But you’re going to get that fucking rapist prick.”

“Yes, I fucking am!” James swallowed more of the amber liquid and slammed the glass on the walnut countertop, before running his fingers over the edge of the smooth surface.

_And I’m going to help you._

“Always liked this countertop…” He looked up, tears simmering in the edges of his eyelids. “I don’t know if I can handle this…I can’t bear to think about what he… what Robert… Why didn’t I see it coming? He was always a bit of a creep, especially around women but I never considered…”

Nate dug his fingers into his palms, ignoring the urge to reach out to the distressed other man.

“None of us saw it coming. He’s obviously good at hiding his true nature.”

James rubbed his temples, before pouring a third whiskey.

“His true nature…When they tell him he’s being charged…” His abrupt laughter, so different from his usual warmth, sent a chill through Nate’s body. “Raping his colleague… Doesn’t seem real…” He paused, pushing the glass away from himself. “I’m very tired. Can you….? This may be asking too much. It’s Christmas Eve, you’ll have places you need to go to.”

“If you want me to stay, I can stay.”

The naked expression of gratitude that followed clenched Nate’s heart.

“Thank you, Nate. I don’t trust myself tonight. I can’t be alone.”

“Are you planning to harm yourself?” Nate asked, his brow furrowing.

“No… I don’t have any plans. I just…I don’t want to be alone. If I could have someone in the house with me. Make sure I’m safe. There’s a spare room next to mine…”

In the past, Nate would be sharing the bed with him. Both caught eyes, aware of this fact. James looked away first.

“I don’t know if I’ll sleep but I need to try. Come, I’ll show you the spare bedroom.”

Nate followed him out of the front loungeroom and down the hall, where they stopped at the room before the master bedroom.

“It’s always made up.”

“Okay.”

James smiled at him, his upturned lips not matching the sorrow in his pale irises.

“Thank you for this. And Merry Christmas for tomorrow.”

“Merry Christmas.”

Nate walked into the tidy spare bedroom, frowning with the knowledge he wouldn’t be getting much sleep that night.

*  
He came down the corridor and into the dining room, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling his nostrils. James stood by the kitchen bench, in a thick woollen dressing gown, sipping from a coffee mug.

“Merry Christmas,” he said, his tone flat.

“Merry Christmas,” Nate grabbed a mug from the rack on the kitchen sink, and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee from the still warm pot on the stove. The little sleep he had was punctuated by James' screams. He had gone into the room, to find James not conscious and curled up into a trembling ball. Not wanting to traumatise him further, Nate had then backed out and returned to the spare bedroom.

_Don’t bring it up, unless he does._

“What are your plans for today?” James asked.

“Christmas lunch with the family,” Nate said. “Mom, my sister and her kids.”

“How old are they? The kids, I mean?”

“Ah, Natasha is five and Josh is three.”

James’ smile retained a little of his usual warmth. “Such a cute age.”

“I take it you’ll be seeing Tommy today.”

James glanced through the arch that separated the dining room from the loungeroom, where the Christmas tree sat in the corner, with a bunch of green and red wrapped presents piled at the base. Tears pooled in his eyelids and fell down his cheeks.

“I can’t…” He shook his head. “I already texted Felicity. She’s angry. But I can’t see them today…”

“I understand, it’s okay.”

James hastily wiped his cheeks dry with the back of hand. “To think, yesterday, everything was so… everything was fine. I was looking forward to Christmas.” His eyes skittered down to the ground and he took another sip of his coffee. “Today, after you have lunch with your family…”

“I can come back here, if you need the company…”

“I don’t want to spend Christmas alone. And you’re the only one who I can handle being with, right now.”

“It’s fine, James. I’d be happy to come back,” he reached out to grasp his shoulder. James flinched away.

“Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I’ll come back, okay?” He took his mobile out of his pocket and wiggled it. “I’ll text you, when I’m ready.”

*  
Nate was only partially cognisant of the yells and screams of his nephew and niece, as they opened their presents, which was a blessing, in retrospect. He smiled at the right junctures and added occasional comment but his mother still sent the occasional curious glance in his direction.

During lunch, he allowed the sparkly chatter of his newly married sister and brother-in-law to hide the tense anxiety, from his side.

His mother however, couldn’t be fooled and confronted him as he helped her with the dishes. The others were in the backyard, seated on the patio and watching the children run in the dewy garden, trying out their new electronic gifts.

“Alright, you’re as chatty as a shy mime today. What’s wrong?” His mother asked, taking the washed porcelain plate off him, to wipe.

Nate sighed. “A friend of mine is spending Christmas alone.” He paused, considering what to tell her. “He was in the hospital the night before last. Someone attacked him.”

“Oh Nate, that’s terrible!”

The concern in her dark brown eyes compelled him to reveal more.

“I was with him last night. He’s not in a good way, mom.”

“Nate…” She gripped his shoulder. “No one should spend Christmas alone. If you need to go see him.”

“I’m worried about him,” Nate admitted to the painful coil in his abdomen, that had been present all morning.

“Go to your friend. We’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Give your old ma a hug,” she said, reaching out her arms.

*

Nate rushed home to feed his overly enthusiastic Labrador, who jumped up and licked him all over his face, wagging his tail and barking happily, before locking him inside and rushing back to the car and driving back to James’.

“Well, hello there, handsome,” James had changed into a plain white t-shirt and jeans. Nate realised this was the first he’d seen him out of business attire. Perhaps it wasn’t just the casual clothes, perhaps it was also the less erect posture, the genuine joy on his face, but James appeared far more relaxed, than he had been that morning.

“I know you’ve eaten but I’m in the middle of cooking… oh…” He looked down at the Tupperware containers in Nate’s hand.

“These aren’t for you. These are for me. I’m a growing man. Got to keep up my carbs.”

James laughed, as he closed the door behind him. “Wouldn’t want you to lose any carbs. Come on into the kitchen.”

Nate followed him through, to an enticing array of spicy, salty and sweet scents, combining to a pleasant waft to his nostrils, from the food bubbling under pans on the stove. A salad bowl sat on the bench, with a chopping board of vegetables to one side. James went behind the bench and chopped a cucumber in an easy motion, throwing it into the salad bowl.

“Fridge is there,” he pointed behind himself. “There’s a bottle of champagne in there. Actually, take it out. I want one.”

Nate did as he bid, placing the Tupperware in the fridge and taking out the champagne bottle.

“How was lunch? Wine glasses are behind me.”

“I brought my niece a ‘Kiara’ doll. You know that new superhero-“

“Ah yes, the one who can punch through walls. Tommy was into her for a while.”

 “Kiara is apparently so last year. Natasha told me she now likes Kiara’s best friend Lindy, who can breathe fire. I told her I’d hate to see what comes out the other end,” Nate said, locating the wine glasses and pouring the champagne.

He achieved the desired response when James burst out laughing.

*

“My father isn’t around. He was murdered,” Nate said.

Christmas night and talking about his life’s angst. He shouldn’t have switched from the champagne to the brandy.

“I’m so sorry!” Seated on the armchair opposite him, with a brandy also in hand, James’ eyebrows creased in consternation.

_A rape victim and the son of a murder victim sitting together at Christmas swapping tales. What a grand life this one is!_

“Coming home from work. He was a firefighter. Some punk with a gun. Wrong place. Wrong time. This was before the technology was devised to essentially make humans live past death in the virtual world.”

“My father is also dead,” James said. “Both my parents. Cancer. Both within six months of each other. Mum first then dad. I guess he couldn’t cope. It’s like he grew the cancer within himself, after mom died. I thought, with Callister, the possibilities. We can take people’s DNA, rebuild their consciousness, even past death. It’s their deaths that kept me going, kept pushing me to explore more. Callister isn’t about the game, not to me, understand?”

“How old where you when they passed?”

“I was fifteen.”

“Eight,” Nate pointed at himself. “It informed who I am now, as a person. We have the capabilities, to bring another back, post death. But I don’t know if we should. There are so many ethical quandaries, around it.”

“I have my own concerns,” James admitted.

Nate looked into the haunted delicate visage, as though seeing James for the first time, beyond his lustful thoughts in concerned with his physicality, but him as a three-dimensional human being, with all of the requisite frailties and strengths, dreams and failings.

“I want Callister to at least explore the possibility, beyond what has already been done. I don’t want to bring my parents back, in a virtual way. Like you, they died before the capability was even possible. But maybe… for others…Or maybe I’m drunk and maudlin…” James trailed off and took another sip of his brandy.

Nate placed his brandy on the coffee table beside his armchair and leaned forward.

“No, I understand. I truly believe I do.”

A pleasant silence extended between them.

“Thank you for keeping me company this Christmas,” James also moved forward.

“No problem,” Nate resisted the urge to flick away a stray strand of blond hair stuck to his cheek.

“I guess you’ll want to go home.”

“There’s no rush tonight but I have to feed Chip eventually, or he’ll find a way to escape the house and track me down.”

“Labradors do have a keen sense of their owner, don’t they?” James’ grin created swirls of giddiness in Nate’s stomach.

“Mine is particularly insane.”

James laughed. “Bring him here. He can run around the back yard.”

“Well, he’s an indoor dog. Has his own special bedding.”

“I love dogs. I’m intrigued to meet him.”

*

“Aren’t you such a cutey? Yes, you are, yes you are!”

Nate padded down the corridor from the toilet, to James’ voice. He had the strong impression he wasn’t talking to himself.

_Or at least I hope he isn’t._

The last three days, where he’d essentially moved in with James, after bringing his dog over, had been interesting. He’d been privy to aspects of James, that proved him to be far more interesting and enticing than Nate had previously conceived. He was a far superior cook than Nate was. He enjoyed nature documentaries and could pick up spiders with his bare hands. He could easily dominate in a political argument, punctuating his opinions with undeniable facts. Though they more or less agreed, when it came to politics, it was in the minutiae where they didn’t.

Five days, in total, he’d been in the house. He’d texted friends and family, cautious as to the explanation why. They’d heard rumours. For now, the police were keeping them informed as to their progress, but were still collating evidence.

In the time with James, Nate, alone, had gone out to pick up supplies, such as groceries. James had video conferenced friends and family but was hesitant to leave the house, particularly as the media was starting to catch on, to what they saw as a disagreement between the owners of one of the biggest companies in the world.

Robert’s secret game, in which he had used DNA of his own workmates, including both James and Nate, was enough to keep the journalists entertained. The man, himself, was currently being held, without bail. So far, the sexual assault of his work partner had not been discovered by the press, for which Nate was grateful.

Nate came into the kitchen, to find James crouching, and talking to a panting Chip. He leant against the barrier between the kitchen and corridor, grinning. The night before, as they sat on the lounge watching a terrible romantic comedy, Chip had come over and fell asleep on James’ feet. It was clear who the new favourite was.

“Yes, you’re a cutie...” James laughed, as Chip licked his face.

Five days.

Standing in the entrance to the kitchen, Nate’s stomach twisted with anxiety. Beyond the sick fuck who was Robert and what he had done to them, Nate had a far more devious problem to content with.

“Having fun?” He asked.

James looked up, his lips uptilting, and Nate’s very being glowed.

“Everything alright?” James’ smile faltered.

_Oh nothing. Only that it’s taken five days for me to realise just how much I’ve fallen for you. And, considering the circumstances, it makes me feel like an absolute asshole._

Nate forced a return grin.

“He’s decided on a new owner. I will fight you to the death to preserve my rightful status as Chip’s owner,” Nate said.

“Too late for that, I’m sorry,” James said, standing, as he continued to pat the dog.

“So what time is Tommy coming over?”

“Ten thirty,” a flicker of unease passed through the ocean blue irises. Although James hadn’t talked about his son, his anxiety came through in other ways, over the past day; his constant hand wringing, the often-abrupt silences, in conversation.

“I’m meeting Shania at ten. But I’ll come back later, okay?”

James nodded and stood.

“Coffee’s brewed.”

“I’d better be careful. Too much coffee tends to go straight through me. Not a pleasant time, when out with a friend,” Nate said.

James’ titter was not the straight laughter Nate was usually able to receive from him.

*

“I can’t tell you, I’m sorry. Either of you,” Nate said, to the two women’s simpering expressions.

“To think, I tried to befriend that man. I looked up to him!” Nanette shook her head.

Nate took another sip of his coffee, his mind on the continuous screams that awoke him each night, from the adjoining room, as James relived his anguish in his sleep.

“Robert Daly is worse than any of us ever considered,” Nate said.

“Worse than copying DNA of us and uploading it into his pathetic game?” Nanette asked.

Nate nodded. “You’ll find out why soon enough. Please…believe me when I say he’s a terrible human being.”

*

The last of the firecrackers burst out their multicoloured explosions, signalling the start of the new year. Cheers rang up, from the people in the street below. Sitting on the balcony, beside James, Nate allowed the joy of those underneath them to calm his frazzled system.

“Happy new year.”

“Happy new year.” James gave him an awkward pat on the back, before placing his arms around him, for a brief moment and releasing.

Nate wasn’t going to consider that this was a body he had explored in detail. He had gone beyond embracing him; he’d kissed, licked, been inside him, in the most intimate way possible. Now, James flinched every time he touched him.

Courtesy of Robert Daly.

Nate was aware of how selfish he was being. In no way was he willing to potentially reverse the little progress James had made. So, no touching, until James was ready. Which meant he was going to have to make the first move. If ever.

But, it didn’t cease the frustration that slammed through him, whenever he considered how close James sat, or how easier it would be if he could respond to his anguish with consoling touches.

“Next year will be a good one, you’ll see,” Nate said.

“I hope so, because this year was the worst,” a wry grin uplifted James’ lips.

*

“Hey buddy, what’s your name?” Nate asked the small child hiding behind his father’s legs.

“Tommy,” the child said.

“Hi Tommy, I’m Nate,” he crouched down to Tommy’s level. “Daddy tells me you like video games.”

Tommy nodded, his eyes wide.

“What’s your favourite?”

“McAllister.”

“Of course,” Nate winked at James.

*

“You were worried. It makes sense, it is your child,” Nate said, resting beside James on the couch, drink in hand.

“It was important for you two to get along. He liked you. Very rare for him. He’s usually so shy around adults. One time he took him into the office. It was a few weeks before your time there. He loved it, so much. All those computers…”

“He was cute. I had fun today.”

“Thrashing me at McAllister,” James smirked.

“Here, you’re not the boss, Jamie. I am.”

James’ left eyebrow raised at the new nickname.

“The boss of being good at digital games and… ok that’s pretty much it.”

James laughed. “And still losing to Tommy.”

“I was legitimately trying to beat him, after a while!”

James’ continued laughter was a blessing upon Nate’s ears.

*

James sat on the couch next to Nate. No glasses of wine this time, no jovial atmosphere. James’ hands sat primly in his lap, his spine so straight Nate was surprised he didn’t hear a crack of the muscles aligning.

“I’m sorry, I’m trying to get this clear in my head,” James said, to the woman opposite. “You’re saying Robert sent a text to Nanette, from the office, to try and cover his tracks?”

The detective nodded.

“We’ve spoken to Nanette and she showed us the texts. Our theory is he sent her the texts, to cover his tracks, once he suspected we were onto him, and disposed of the DNA in his freezer."

“Keeping copies of his workmates to torture in his private game. It’s so sick…” Nate shook his head.

“There’s more…Mr. Walton, the DNA we found on the interface system matched to another person. We’ve finally been able to transcode it.” She swallowed. “It matches to your son.”

James jumped, as though electrified. “He told me he… but I couldn’t believe it. What is wrong with him? Why would he? He’s just a little boy,” his eyes shone with unsuppressed tears.

“What he has done is highly illegal. Even without the rape charge, the DA is pleased with the evidence we have on him.”

“Good,” James looked down at his trembling hands. “He deserves to go a way for a very long time.”  
*

James, as ever, continued to prove himself an enigma the first day they arrived back at work, after a month’s break.

He had been quiet the night before, as both sat with the usual wine in hand, no doubt fretting over the following day, where staff, by now would undoubtedly have knowledge of the charges he had against his business partner.

Nate had more selfish reasons for his sombre mood. For the past month, it had mainly been him and James. Though they had not even touched, he had experienced a closeness unlike no other before. Most nights were spent sitting and chatting, while enjoying wine from James’ cellar- it turned out he was quite the connoisseur. They went through all manner of conversation, from the shallowest to the deepest. James was hesitant to talk of his sexual assault but would hint at it, at times. Little aspects of day to day living. Convincing James to come out with him around the park, to walk Chip, meeting James’ ex, who turned out to be a dryly witty woman, watching the latest movies with Tommy.

But he also couldn’t deny his anxiety, on behalf of the traumatised man, his own concerns as to how James would cope with returning to his business.

“Hi everyone!” James said, wide grin plastered over his face, as he stepped onto the main floor.

“James! How are you, man?” Valdack rushed up and shook his hand. Soon, Nanette and Shania were also crowded around him. Nate stayed back, to watch. James’ smile did, indeed, appear genuine. Even from where he stood, James’ natural charisma wafted towards him.

There was only one moment, that day, where he saw a hint of the troubled man of the past month. As he passed Robert’s, followed by his old offices, a visible flinch ran through his body. He rushed further past the now empty rooms and into the new one, on the other side of the floor, taking out his guitar and strumming it.

“Is he alright?” Valdack asked.

“Of course not!” Shania snapped. “We all know what he’s charging that asshole with. The media has been sniffing around.”

“We’ll make sure they don’t come near him,” Nanette said. “We’ll make it our priority. Nate, _your_ priority is to make sure he’s okay.”

*

James’ smile evaporated, muscle by muscle, on the drive home, until, as soon as Nate closed the door behind him, the entire delicate structure sagged, as though it had been held up by force of will. Chip rushed up and jumped up his body, barking.

“Hey, Chip,” he said, patting the dog without his usual enthusiasm.

“How about I make dinner tonight?” Nate said.

“Nate…” James surprised him by grabbing his hand. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Nate squeezed back, understanding that James wasn’t talking about him making dinner.

Later that night, as they sat together, watching a dreadful action film, James took his hand again.

*

Another long day at work. To Nate, it was obvious how much the act James was putting on, of being the ‘fun, cool boss’ was wearing him down. Nanette and Shania, of course, could see through it. Before he left, as James stood by the coffee machine, laughing with Valdack, Nanette cornered Nate at his desk.

“He’s not coping, isn’t he?”

Nate had no idea how she knew.

“Some days yes. Some days no.”

She reached out and grabbed his shoulder. “Give me a call if you want a coffee. Being the partner of one who’s had trauma in their life can have its own stresses.”

Nate had the impression she was speaking from experience.

Once they were home, James’ mask of civility wore off and he fell into the lounge chair, a frown marring his refined features.

“I hate how he’s managed to scar one of the most enjoyable aspects of my life that is my job.”

Nate came over and sat beside him. James took his hand.

“I’ve decided we’re going to move. I know it will be difficult. But I can’t be in the same place in which I have to always walk past where he violated me. The new offices can be close by. It will be a good project to work on. Away from what’s coming up next week…”

The trial.

Nate squeezed his hand. James faced him, so close in the dim lamp light. Light freckles from the days spent walking Chip with Nate splashed across his upturned nose. His sensuous full lips quirked up. Nate read eons of wisdom in his pale blue irises. James leaned forward.

The kiss was chaste, forgoing the electricity of their former lip locks. But there was more, in the brief tangle of tongues, a deeper connection to each other.

They released.

“James,” Nate frowned. “I want there to be no misunderstanding between us. I’ve fallen for you. I fell for you from the first moment I saw you in the interview, all sunny smile and bright blue eyes.”

James tittered in the most adorable fashion.

“But I’m not a possessive man. When you no longer wished to be with me, I understood and was grateful for the time we had. Whatever you want to do, is your decision.”

“Well, good, because I want to be with you.”

They locked lips again, Nate stroking down his cheek.

“Finally!” James whacked him gently on the leg. “I was wondering when you were going to touch me again! When we were first bopping bodies, you were always so gentle. I wanted straight sex, with no extras. But you always wanted to kiss, to stroke my hair, to touch me. Always touching me, my face, my hair. It freaked me out, because it was so intimate. And, admittedly, it felt so good. I was too much of a jerk to admit maybe there was something more there, that could be built on.”

“I have a confession. I find you beautiful.”

James pulled back, looking at Nate as though he’d announced he was pregnant with alien twins.

“I’m not. I’ve got these goofy lips and my face is sort of-“

“You’re not going to talk ill of the one I find beautiful, now,” Nate now whacked him on the leg.

James broke out into a shy smile, and Nate’s innards zapped with passion.

*

Nate noticed a change in James over the next week, both at work and home. Now they had broken through his stiffening every time he was touched, he was tactile towards Nate more often. Nothing too severe; a lingering pat on his arm at work, a kiss on the back of the neck in the kitchen as he was making coffee. Nate responded with gentle touches of his own, but was still careful not to potentially reawaken his trauma. Still no sex, not that Nate was complaining too much, when he was allowed to sit next to his beloved watching an old movie, his arm around his shoulders, stroking his hair, with James’ head against his shoulder.

Perhaps he was complaining, inwardly, that was. He was aware of not pushing any sexual side of the relationship, allowing James the space to build up to any contact, as he had with the kiss. But, it was difficult not to dwell on more sexual manners when his beautiful and deeply sensuous partner was cuddled up against him on the couch. He forced himself to focus on non-sexual times, in case the inevitable erection poked its head up. One time, in an innocuous setting, it happened. James laughed, trailed his hand across the hard flesh and pulled back, his expression strained and miserable.

“It’s too soon. I’m sorry, Nate.”

Nate, as he always did in these times, excused himself and went to the bathroom, mind still on the traumatised man, picturing him in a non-traumatised way, spread out and begging beneath him. As he jerked himself to a lonely orgasm, he told himself it didn’t matter, if James could never be sexual with him, again. Right now, he had everything that he wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

Nate had never been inside a courtroom before. He found the concept fascinating, that no matter how technologically advanced a society was (to the extent Robert Daly could place DNA replicas of his work colleagues into his computer console and have them play out as real-life versions), there were still ingrained institutions that surpassed any societal technology. Walking into the courtroom and viewing the blind lady justice holding the scales, a strong sense of hope enveloped Nate’s system. Robert Daly could be smart, could violate and harass and abuse his power. But here, all were equal, here justice was served.

Robert had put on weight since he had been in the county jail, but still bore the arrogant demeanour he had displayed towards Nate, after he had exited the office in which he had violated James. As Nate and James sat in the wooden pews behind their lawyer, Robert turned to look at them, his eyes cold flints. James folded his arms to cease their obvious tremble. Robert turned back to the front.

“Fuck that asshole,” Nate said, patting his arm.

“Yes, fuck him,” Shania sat on the other side of James. Although James was reticent for them to come, both her and Nanette were adamant on being there for him.

They technically didn’t have to be there at all. The first day, they were told, their lawyers were going to go through their summary of evidence. But James insisted on going, as a show of strength.

The judge, the Honourable Rachel Khalid, walked into the room and everyone stood. Nate watched her walk behind the bench and sit down and prayed she would be just and would kick Robert’s ass hard. And all the way to a long prison term.

When James’ lawyer stood up to deliver her opening monologue, James drew in a breath beside Nate. She walked over to the jury box and looked at them a moment.

“We’re here today because of the actions of two men. My client, James Walton, and the defendant Robert Daly met in college. From there, they recognised each other’s attributes and formed a partnership that eventually lead to the formation of Callister Incorporated, one of the most lucrative companies in the world, with my client as CEO and Robert Daly as Chief Technical Officer. This is all public fact. But, the truth is much darker. The truth is that Robert Daly bore a dark and twisted desire for domination and degradation. We will prove Robert Daly confronted my client in his office late one night, after everyone had left, slapped, punched, and strangled him, before violently sexually assaulting him. We have evidence of a brutality that has left our client physically and emotionally devastated. The defence will no doubt paint their client as an honourable man, an innocent man. But have no doubt, he is guilty.”

The court room was so quiet dim voices from behind the closed heavy doors reached inside. Nate reached over and grabbed James’ clammy hand. The lawyer sat down and the defence lawyer stood.

“I must admit, for the first time, I agree with a lot of the prosecution’s opening argument. Robert Daly and James Walton did meet in college, they did form a partnership leading to the formation of Callister Incorporated. We will also accede to evidence that James Walton was attacked on the night before Christmas Eve. So the prosecution state the truth is much darker. We concede the prosecution is wrong. Robert Daly and James Walton were intimate that night. Consensually intimate. We will give evidence James Walton has been proven to have had many rough sexual relations in the office and enjoys indulging in sadomasochistic relationships.”

“Really? Those fucking assholes!” Shania said.

James let go of Nate’s hand, to place his head in his hands. Ty clutched his shoulder, disturbed at the trembling that suffused his slender frame. James lifted his head, his body shaking with silent laughter.

“That’s their defence? That I enjoy being beaten up while having sex?” He wiped his eyes. “Robert Daly’s incredibly stupid.”

*

Against Nate’s inner wishes, James insisted on going to the pub with the others. Once he arrived there, they ensconced a booth in the far corner, away from the few inhabitants inside and Shania and Nanette ambled over to the bar to get drinks. James refused any alcohol, but kept up sparkly chatter, laughing and welding his charm to ineffectually convince the others he wasn’t affected by the events of the day, or the fact the trial would continue the next.

After a mere hour, Nate could handle no more of James’ false bravado and, although he’d only had two drinks, said he was going home, more than happy to take a taxi back to his own place. James insisted on driving him. As they walked to the car, feet crunching on the ground, James spun around to face him.

“Alright, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing!” Nate said.

“Yes, that’s why you’re leaving early.”

Nate ran a hand over his shaved skull. “I couldn’t bear to be in there any longer. Today was stressful-“

“Stressful for you?” James laughed. “Yes, because you were the one who was raped by a psychopath and then had to listen to his lawyer say the sex was consensual, that I enjoy being beaten and choked, not only by his hand but by his cock-“

Nate flinched. “Jamie…”

“Only to then have him brag about killing my own son in his twisted game before him fucking me so hard I bled. But yes, all fun and games for me!” The reached the car and he pulled out the inhibitor and clicked open the lock on the door. “I wanted a fun night out, to not have to worry about all of this with my friends and boyfriend but no! You wanted to leave early-“

“I was happy for you to stay with them! You were the one insisting on leaving here with me!”

“You made a big deal about leaving early in front of everyone!”

“I did not! I told everyone I was leaving early.” Nate took a couple of breaths to calm himself. “Honestly, Jamie, go back. It’s fine. How about I take a taxi back to yours? I’ll be up when you get home.”

“We’re already here, might as well leave.” James opened the car door and sat inside. Nate went around to the other side and entered the passenger side.

“Jamie… I can’t even begin to understand what you’re going through right now. I made this about me and that was wrong. I’m sorry.”

James clicked on his seatbelt and placed his hand on the steering wheel, silent a moment.

“I’m sick of him controlling my life. I want to go out with friends and not have to be reminded about what he did. I want to be with my boyfriend. We started out with this amazing sex and now I can’t even be naked with you. I want this to be over.”

“You’ve come this far. Jamie, you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. I don’t think you realise how courageous you are. You’re making so many strides forward, every day-“

“It doesn’t feel that way,” James spoke to the steering wheel. Nate plucked his hand and held it, innards twisting at the tears clinging to James’ light eyelashes.

“I will do whatever it takes to help you through this. I love you.”

James turned to face him, face crinkled into an expression of defeat.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“It’s fine,” Nate squeezed his hand tighter.

*

Nate inched closer to James on the mattress, curling his hand around his waist, as he nuzzled his face in his hair. James responded by grabbing his hand.

“You alright?” Nate asked.

“Mmm…” James responded.

First time sharing a bed together, since James’ attack. Though they were both clothed, Nate allowed the intimacy to wash over him, to bathe in the sweet ecstasy swirling in his system.

“Nate…”

“Yes beautiful?”

“Beautiful?” James’s sardonic tone was clear.

“You are to me,” Nate nuzzled his soft fine hair once more.

“You’re one mega sex symbol,” James giggled.

Nate responded by stroking his cheek and kissing the soft flesh.

“Love you, Nate,” James whispered.

Nate snuggled up closer to him and kissed his jaw, content to lie with his beloved, in a perfect moment.

*

Nate arrived home to banging from the direction of the minbar. He put down his case, hung up his coat on the coat stand and came into the room, to find James swallowing an amber liquid before slamming the glass on the counter.

“All ok with Tommy, beautiful?” Nate asked. James had left work early, following a call from his ex asking to pick up his son from school, after her mother was rushed to the hospital with a heart attack.

“Oh, all is fine, honeybun,” James poured more whisky into a glass and shot it down. “I just had to explain to my son a bad man touched me in a way I didn’t like, after my son asked why the boys at school are saying I was fucked and am a slut. But then, why go against the media narrative that’s out there, at the moment?”

Nate came over and placed his arms around his shoulders, kissing his neck.

“Yes, life is wonderful right now!”

Nate stroked down his hand, in an attempt to cease him from picking up the whisky bottle once more.

“People are always going to find always to be assholes. Some of the things they’ve said to me! I’ll give some of them credit for their ingenuity. Face like the asshole of a duck,” Nate made the last bit up but it achieved the desired effect when James laughed.

“I’m so tired of all of this,” James spun around and interlocked his fingers around Nate’s lower back. “I shouldn’t have to say to him to tell me if anyone ever touches him in a way he doesn’t like. Because no one should ever do that. That sick fuck Robert… I told you how he said something about throwing Tommy out of an airlock. I shouldn’t have taken Robert to court. I should have killed that asshole!”

“I’m so sorry, Jamie. I go back to that night. If I had come back twenty minutes earlier, maybe I could have-“

“What? Run in there and pummel your chest and save meek little Jamie from the psychopathic monster rapist? Your saviour complex is interesting.” He released his hands from Nate’s waist.

“I know, I know. It’s ridiculous. And insulting to what you went through. I can’t promise you will never be harmed again. But I will do everything I can, to try make that happen.”

“Wow, Nate, that’s comforting,” James folded his arms.

A blush crept over Nate’s cheeks. In his old job, he was able to talk to prisoners about their trauma, easily conversing to arrive at a plan of recovery. But with James, he was too close to the situation.

“I’m at a loss as to what to do. I can’t fix you. But I wish there was some way I could say something or do something and ease your anguish.”

“You’re really not helping your case,” James said, lips twisted up with bemusement.

“Yes, should stop making this about me.”

“Especially as I was talking about not me but Tommy.”

“I’m a dick,” Nate said. “What can I say?”

James laughed, wrapped his arms around his waist once more and kissed his lips. “So you’re not so perfect after all.”

“No you take that slot,” Nate slid a finger along his jaw, before kissing his lips and entangling tongues together.

They pulled away and James whacked Nate’s butt. “Want to order in, tonight?”

*

James didn’t go into the court on the day his testimony was given. Nate understood. However, he wanted to, needed to hear for himself what Robert did to him. Although James had hinted at specifics, he had never told him the full story.

James, himself, gave the testimony. Or, rather, a miniaturised holographic version of himself, recorded from the hospital bed, after he had been given the rape kit. The holograph blew up, to full size, and displayed, in three-degrees, in the centre of the courtroom.

“I was in my office, late at night. It was around eight. Everyone else had left. I was on the mobile to my ex-wife, organising picking up my son for Christmas Eve when Robert Daly came into the room. We spoke. He said I didn’t respect him. So I responded that he needed to try harder to connect with other people. There had been, admittedly, friction between us. I was irritated with him because he’d pushed back the launch of one of our apps. And then he… he slapped me across the face. I was in shock. It came from nowhere. I went to press the button on my desk for security and he punched me again.” He paused, as though listening to another. “The first slap was on the left,” he pointed to a bruise on his left face, “He punched me across the left and right and in the abdomen. And he pushed me down onto the desk and he began to… began to strangle me.” His breath quickened. Watching, Nate’s breath also quickened. “I was terrified he was trying to kill me. He kept saying ‘Are you going to behave?’ He let me go and I ran for the door. I was a hundred percent convinced he was trying to murder me.”

_Oh my god, James…_

Nate dug his fingernails into his palms, blood running down his wrists, to cease himself from rushing out of the courtroom, to no longer have to hear the horror of what James went through.

_If he could survive through the reality, I can listen to the telling of it._

“He caught me and punched me in the stomach again. He kept saying ‘Do you submit?’ and I tried, tried talking him down, saying I’d get him help. That something was wrong. He talked about the game. Said he’d tortured me in the game. He undid his fly…He said if I used teeth he’d knock them out. I didn’t want to be hurt any more…” He paused once more. “Yes, he forced me to fellate him.” His voice broke, tears running down his face. Nate’s own eyes burnt with tears. “He pushed my head down, started choking me.” He nodded. “He forced me to to s-swallow his semen.”

Nate looked over to Robert, who was staring down at the ground.

“After, he made me sit on the lounge chair in his office. Pulled me up and walked me over and sat me down. Kept talking about the game. About what he’d done to me. To my son…He pushed me down onto the couch and pulled off my shirt. I begged him not to touch me. In response, he put his hands around my throat. This time, almost to unconsciousness. Then he pulled off the rest of my clothes and…f-forcibly penetrated me,” he stopped talking, sobbing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. No, he didn’t use any protection. I mean he anally raped me. Yes, he was saying I wanted it. Worse…called me a slut. I don’t recall saying anything. I was so scared and confused and shamed…I tried to get away but I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop it…” The sobs grew louder. “He… he ejaculated inside me and he moved off me and forced me to thank him,” now James sounded exhausted. “I wanted him to leave. Anything for him to leave. I did it. He left. I managed to get my clothes back on. When I came out of the office he’d gone. One of the staff, Nate had come back. He told me my shirt was back on inside out and I wasn’t wearing any shoes or socks. I didn’t even realise…”

In front of him, Robert whispered to his lawyer. Nate bit hard on his bottom lip, resisting the urge to slam his clenched fists into his face.

*

As soon a he came into the door, and saw James seated on the lounge, watching a three-dimensional hologram of his son playing school baseball, Nate came over to him. James smiled and switched off the hologram, as Nate wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his chest.

“It was that bad, huh?” James said, wryly.

*

The foreman’s pause was the longest pause in Nate’s thirty years on earth. His stomach was coiled around in such tight ringlets he was certainly going to vomit.

“Guilty.”

The courtroom erupted in cheers, Nanette and Shania‘s the loudest of all. The stomach coils unravelled, to be replaced with giddy stabs of joy. Nate placed an arm around James’ waist and kissed his cheek.

James, however, wasn’t cheering. Though his face was blank, his pale blue eyes held a myriad of swirling emotions. Robert Daly glanced at him. In that eye lock, the two conveyed the weight of their relationship, the culmination of their past infractions together. Robert turned back and James slumped his shoulders.

“I want to go home now, please.”

*

James moaned, a light tremble permeating his torso, as Nate eagerly sucked on his leaking erection, his hands sliding over the sweat soaked stomach and thighs, before pushing his thighs aside and placing a finger at the entrance of his body. He withdrew from his sucking and looked up.

“Yes?”

Though, for the past month, James had assented to him using his fingers and mouth to pleasure him, he asked, each time. Too fresh in his mind was the first two times he tried. Though James had assented, both times, as Nate pressed his fingers deep inside him, James had panicked, begging for him to stop. It took a good few minutes to calm his shaking.

James’ mouth twitched and his nodded. Nate slid back down his body and slid his finger inside him, returning to his enthused ministrations. Pressing up further, as James chest heaved, he pressed against that sweet spot he knew would cause James’ moans to grow moaner. In his experience, men didn’t last long, when being fingered and sucked simultaneously, and James was no different. Within less than three minutes, his cries were reaching peak level. Nate withdrew his mouth and jerked him, his erection spewing come over his stomach.

“James…” By now, his own erection was on fire. He sucked on his neck, pressing their bodies together. James gasp was enough to send him over into utter bliss, as he intermingled his own come with his partner’s. Coming down, he kissed along James’ clavicle. James wriggled out from under him and turned on his side. Content, Nate snuggled up behind him, kissing his shoulder and trailing a hand down his hip.

“All alright, beautiful?”

James was silent a moment.

“Just tired.”

Nate nuzzled his hair.

“Six months today…” James said.

Nate had been trying to work out how to bring up their official six-month anniversary all day, at the office. James had been in and out with meetings. Shania had advised him to take James somewhere special but Nanette advised against it. To Nate, their relationship officially commenced the night he came home with James and essentially never left. That was also the night James was horrifically sexually assaulted.

“Six months ago, Robert Daly raped me. You say I’m getting better. I don’t know if I am.”

Nate’s stomach dropped to his feet.

“I still get nightmares. I often freak out during sex. Sometimes I wonder why you even bother to be with me.”

Nate ignored the frustration tearing through his muscular frame, as his muscles tightened.

“I’m with you because I love you. Because you’re sweet and funny and so damned smart and quirky oh and beautiful.”

James turned to face him, placing a hand on Nate’s cheek. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Isn’t that up to me to decide?”

James’ plump lips uplifted into a shy smile. “I do love you.”

Nate smirked. “And why wouldn’t you?”

James laughed, leant forward and pecked him on the lips.

*

As much as James appeared to idolise him, Nate was more than aware of his own flaws. Though he tried to be there for his partner, to surpass his frustration at his slow progress through his trauma, there were times when it all came to the surface. This could be fixed by going to their gym room and lifting weights. Other times, his mind would recall their initial passion and experience a longing to return to that time.

This became percipient when James allowed him into his body again, eight months after his sexual assault and, after both had been cleared of any potential STDS, was insistent on not using condoms. Nate was careful with him, in acknowledgement of the trust he was giving. However, as he moved within him, James lay on his back, with his hands and legs loose around upper and lower back, with his eyes staring up at the ceiling and lip between his teeth. Nate stopped moving.

“Do you want me to pull out?”

“Keep going!” James insisted.

“You remember our safe word.”

“Yes, yes, keep going.”

Again, with the pale eyes not even focused on him, the expression on his face of intense concentration, as though he was puzzling over a company accounting algorithm, as opposed to making love with his partner. Not even a year before, when Nate would penetrate him, he would moan, would move with him, would give little whimpers and cries of “Yes, fuck yes more.”

James closed his eyes, mouth flung open, as his breath picked up, jolting in time with Nate’s hand on his erection. Nate nuzzled his neck, kissed his cheek, whispered into his ear.

“You want me to keep going? You tell me if you need me to stop.”

“I told you I will! Keep going!”

Though Nate continued thrusting, it seemed robotic, as though they were going through the motions. Frowning, he moved faster. James’ brow creased and a whimper escaped his lips. Encouraged, Nate sucked on his earlobe, a move always guaranteed to cause a moan. Only, this time it didn’t occur. James’ breath increased and he shuddered, the come spurting between them taking Nate by surprise. He thrust three more times and threw his head back, groaning in ecstasy, as he reached his peak, releasing inside his lover, before collapsing down on him.

“Was it okay, beautiful?” Nate pulled out and moved up onto his hands, to look down at the flushed face.

A dreamy smile uplifted James’ lips and he fondled Nate’s flaccid penis.

“How was it for you?”

Nate was careful in how he answered. “Any time I get to touch this lovely body is heaven for me.”

“You’re such a sap,” The grin grew wider.

“Guilty as charged,” Nate indulged in his lips, before lying on his back and pulling James onto him. James rested his head on his chest, stroking his hip and thighs, as Nate ran his fingers through his fine blond hair.

“I can have sex without freaking out. Major win for us tonight,” James said.

“God I love you,” Nate said.

“Yes, well you would say that now, wouldn’t you?”

“Sleep,” Nate said. “Work tomorrow.”

“Such a hard taskmaster,” James grinned.

*

James came back into the car and clicked his seatbelt on. Nate studied his face, alert for any building anxiety. However, his expression remained calm.

“How did it go?”

“I needed to do this,” he replied. “I understand that now. To have closure, of some kind.”

Nate responded by grabbing his hand.

“Seeing Robert again…Just made me realise how pathetic he is. How sad. The funny thing is he had so much potential. There is no doubting his intelligence, he’s brilliant. He was funny, in a lowkey fashion. He used to frustrate me so much. I never understood why he didn’t do what needed to be done. I was trying to do what I believed was the best thing for the company. But he… it’s as though he didn’t care. I thought maybe he was too shy or lacking in confidence. I understand now, his ego was always in the way. That was at the forefront of who he was. We weren’t bowing down to him, treating him like the god he saw himself as.”

“When I heard about what he did in that game, beyond assaulting you in such a way…I agree. It proved to me his obsession with controlling all of us. When we didn’t fall into line. When you, in particular didn’t simper to him the moment he confronted you, he couldn’t accept it. Yes, I agree. Pathetic man.”

A slight smile graced the delicate features and he squeezed Nate’s hand. “Let’s drive home. I want you to make love to me. And let’s not allow him to take any more of our time.”

As Nate leaned forward to kiss him, he realised it was the first time James had ever mentioned their intimacy as making love.

*

“Oh, it was the most boring speech. Company profits increased threefold. Investors happy. I would guess there would be a correlation between the two,” James laughed. Nate stood back, champagne in hand, admiring him converse with a wide group of ten people. Nanette came up and stood beside him.

“I see you, as usual, staring at your fiancé as though he is chocolate mousse.”

“You’re mistaken. That’s chocolate mouse with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

Nanette laughed.

“These work Christmas parties are so interminably boring. Glad you have something to keep your spirits up,” Nanette said.

“Weren’t you talking to that guy Ramsey?”

Nanette rolled her eyes. “Such an asshole. I’m glad to be single. We don’t have to be all loved up as you two are.”

Nate’s focus returned to James. Four years and he was still so in love it was bordering on painful. Wasn’t the loved-up stage meant to disappear after six months?

“I found an interesting news item the other day,” Nanette said. “About Robert Daly.”

“That he’s founded a commune in Texas? Yes, me and James had a good laugh about that one.”

Nanette’s brow raised. “He was… okay?”

“So far Daly isn’t doing anything illegal. But James has vowed to keep a close eye on any developments with him.”

“Unbelievable, what that man did…”

Both were interrupted as Shania appeared at Nanette’s side, drink in hand.

*

“Nate yes…” James moaned.

Nate moved faster within him, kissing his neck, as he ran his hand over his cheek, his jaw, relishing in the delicate structure of his face. James’ groans grew louder.

“Yes…yes…”

This was what encouraged Nate to keep going- enthusiastic consent. He shuddered, moving his head up to kiss along his jaw, tasting his salty sweat on his lips. James mouth opened wider and he cried out, ejaculating between them, as Nate allowed himself to cry out in climax, releasing deep inside his partner.

“That was… pretty spectacular…” James grinned, as Nate carefully removed himself and sat up, to look down at him.

“It was the most fortuitous day of my life, the day I decided to take that interview with Callister Inc,” Nate said.

“You were determined to tell me how bad I looked in my online profile photo.”

“That was incredibly rude of me.”

“I thought it was funny.”

Nate stroked his cheek. “You were so insanely gorgeous in person.”

“It’s okay, I guessed you were saying how good I looked in person. That’s why I chased you with such determination. I was such a mess, at the time. Just wanted sex without the strings attached. I treated you abysmally. That night, when I came out of my office…You were amazing. I couldn’t think straight.”

“No, you were amazing. You were the one who went straight to the hospital, wanted to press charges. Do you realise how rare that is? Particularly for a man to even admit he was abused in such a way? In the prison, some men waited ten years before talking about what happened to them.”

“Well, that says less about me and more about how messed up society is,” James said.

“You’re not getting any denials from me, here.”

James sat up, facing Nate and taking both hands. “You’re so good for me. I can be a handful, at times. But you’re always so patient. Even when I’m frustrating the hell out of you. Yes, I sense it. Thank you for staying with me. With everything that happened.”

“I will always be with you. Will always love you. You remember that old song? Apparently played at funerals…That’s macabre.”

James eyes brightened. “You know I love you too. Always. And fuck Robert Daly, by the way. But, in a crazy we have him to thank. It’s because of that night we came together again. And you came to my house and never left.”

“And I never will.” They tenderly lapped tongues again. “So, tomorrow. Sleep in. Make love, pick up Tommy for his Space Station trip. Go home and I’ll make us a scrumptious dinner. Watch a film that all three of us can decide on- for once. And be our wonderful selves.”

James grin could solve all of the worlds’ problems. “Sounds an optimum plan.”


End file.
